TIK'S CHARITY SELECTIONS IN PATTAYA
Koh Phi Phi by dancewatchers.com
CONTACT ME BY E-MAIL AT... dancewatchers@gmail.com
CONTACT ME BY PHONE......... 0851504057
when contacting me by phone please remember the time difference. Current time in Thailand is displayed as well as a link to how to call Thailand from your home country. Please do not call me past 8pm or before 9am Thank you
Read a very moving story located at the bottom of this page
CONTACT ME BY PHONE......... 0851504057
when contacting me by phone please remember the time difference. Current time in Thailand is displayed as well as a link to how to call Thailand from your home country. Please do not call me past 8pm or before 9am Thank you
Read a very moving story located at the bottom of this page
Pattaya |
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Helping the Camillian Center for Children with HIV / AIDS
Tik from Dancewatcher's and Tik from the HIV CENTER
PRESENTATION TO THE CHILDREN WITH HIV JANUARY 2010
PRESENTATION OF 317,000 BAHT TO THE CAMILLIAN CENTER JAN 2010
IF YOU CAN HELP CLICK HERE TO DONATE DIRECTLY TO THE CENTER'S WEBSITE OR JUST CONTACT TIK AT dancewatchers@gmail.com
Tik's planned trip to the Pattaya Orphanage scheduled for January 29th went very well. Tik with her family and a few of Tik's condo rental customers loaded into a baht bus for the short trip. Items for the donation included some toys, children’s clothing and electric mosquito swipe’s, requested special powdered milk for the children who have a digestive problem, fresh fruit from Tik's Farm and more. The children and staff were a delight. If you ever get the chance make the trip. Click below for their web page.
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Thai innocent child afflicted with HIV
Thai innocent children afflicted with HIV
Moving story by a man who has vacationed in Pattaya
printed here with permission of the author
"I was with ( a friend I will call )Pacman, having a beer one summer’s evening, about a year after I first met Ooy. We’d returned home from Pattaya a few weeks previously. While we were on that trip Ooy had developed a persistent cough. I took her to Boots, the Pharmacy, in ‘Big C’ for some medication, but it didn’t seem to help much. After we returned I spoke to her on the phone a couple of times a week, and each time we talked the cough seemed to be getting worse. She was also losing weight. She down to 39 kilo.
Sitting there by the Sea, on the Coast of Kent on this summer’s evening, with a mate and a beer or two, what could be better. But Ooy kept slipping into my mind, and how ill she seemed to be getting. She had all the symptoms of Tuberculosis, which is rife in Thailand, caused by drinking infected unpasturised milk. I voiced my fears to Pacman.
We discussed it for a while when he said “why don’t we go back there next week.” We’d only been back home around five or six weeks, and so returning now would wipe out my cash reserves. But I couldn’t see any alternative. Tuberculosis is curable these days, but left untreated for too long it is certain death. We arrived in Pattaya six days later.
I hadn’t told Ooy that I was returning so she freaked when she saw me walking down Soi 8 towards her Bar. It was great to be back and it was about now that I started having thoughts of taking her back to the UK. Returning to Pattaya then was a good idea. I’d not been sleeping well for worrying about her and wondering what to do. It was such a relief being there and knowing that the next day we would be in one of the Hospitals and getting her sorted. I slept well that night.
Roy (laffnlive) had recommended a Doctor near the Bangkok Bank, on Second Road. Dr Belen. On a previous trip Roy had been very ill indeed. She put him on a drip and sat with him in his Hotel room all night. She spoke to Ooy for five minutes or so, when she turned to me and said, “I would like to send her to the Bangkok Pattaya Hospital for a full examination.” I readily agreed. She made a phone call to the Hospital and ten minutes later we were at the reception desk.
They were expecting us, and after taking a few details from Ooy, we were shown into Dr Prasit’s office. He’d obviously got information from Dr Belen when she spoke to him, and I voiced my fears about TB. He sent Ooy for an XRay and blood tests and told us to come back in an hour.
I was elated as we sat in a restaurant on the Sukhumvit Road, having lunch to pass the hour away. Ooy was going to get treated and in a few weeks she would be OK. I was thinking of what I had to do about getting together all the info needed for a Visa. I’d not said anything to Ooy about taking her back to the UK. But when I returned in a few months she would be healthy and I would have all the paperwork needed for the Visa. I would ask her then, but I couldn’t imagine her not wanting to go.
The hour flew by as I was absorbed in my thoughts about being at home with my Teerak. We were shown into Dr Prasit’s office, where he was in the process of putting an XRay up on an illuminated box. He turned to me and pointing to the XRay he said:
“She doesn’t have TB but she is HIV Positive. I think it’s worse than that. I think she may have AIDS.” He paused for a second or two, as my brian buzzed and went numb.
He continued: “I can’t be sure how far it has progressed unless we send a blood sample to Bangkok for a ‘T’ cell count.”
He looked directly at me and I could tell he was wondering how I would react. “Do you want to do that?” he asked. I nodded.
“I’ll give her some antibiotics for the chest infection now, then if you come back in three days I’ll know what we need to do for the future.” I nodded. My mouth was dry and I was developing a headache.
He turned to Ooy and presumably told her the same. I watched her closely not knowing what to expect. Her face was impassive, set in stone... When he finished she said something to him briefly.
He turned to me: “Will you pay for her treatment?” he said. I asked how much it would cost.
“About seven or eight thousand baht a month.” I said OK, not giving it much thought at the time.
We rode back to the Hotel in the Baht Taxi in silence. Holding each other tight. When we got into the room she sat on the edge of the bed. I sat beside her, putting my arm round her shoulders.
“When me die teerak?” she said. Tears streaming down her face.
My first thought was “Bastards. Don’t these people have any humanities?” He should have sent her to a Councillor who could have explained that it was not a death sentence. With the right treatment she could live a long and near normal life. I did my best to explain this to her and she eventually fell asleep.
I laid down on the bed beside her considering the implications. I don’t know if I can say that I was in love with Ooy. But I was certainly very fond of her. She was attractive and was easy to be with. I felt a bond between us. Could I walk away and let her die? Right then I couldn’t. Seven or eight thousand Baht a month was easily affordable. It would have virtually no effect on my life at all. But... I would be paying for the rest of my life.
When we returned to the Hospital three days later, Dr Prasit confirmed the diagnosis. Her ‘T’ cell count was so low that she could die within a few months. Her body had very little immunity from infections. He explained to me, and then to Ooy, the strict drug regime. She had to take six or seven pills every twelve hours. Without fail. No alcohol of course.
The Holiday was a mess. We’d hardly left the room for the last three days. Ooy spent most of her time sleeping and it was difficult to get her to eat anything. When Dr Prasit gave her a diet sheet and explained that if she were to stick to the diet and drug regime, there is no reason why she wouldn’t have along life, she brightened up a little.
As we were leaving the office Dr Prasit said to me: “Do you want an HIV test?”
Oh Shit! Until he said that I hadn’t even thought about it. “No, I said.” There was no point in having a test now. If I were infected there was nothing I could do about it. I’d wait until I got home. I wasn’t optimistic. I’d been with Ooy since my very first trip to Thailand, one year and three trips ago. I’d had at least 80 unprotected shags.
I was in turmoil. Not least because there was the possibility that I was infected. But what to do about Ooy? There was no way I was going to send her back to the Village with a monthly allowance. That would cost another 20,000 Baht a month... for the rest of my life. There was no way I could bring her back to the UK now, they wouldn’t let her in. I definitely wasn’t going to Thailand to live. Not for many years anyway. If I sent her back to the Village the nearest City where she could get treatment was 80 miles away. So that was another complication.
Not for the first time I wondered if I was doing the best thing in paying for her treatment. But I still couldn’t bring myself to walk away and let her die.
The only alternative was to leave her working in Pattaya. She had to work to survive. Even back then as a Newbie, I knew that she would go with Farang while I was away. Before she was diagnosed I didn’t care if she did. But now?....
When I got home I went to the clinic for a test. I explained why, and all the circumstances. The Female Doctor seemed concerned. She was obviously thinking the same as me. She offered me Councelling, even before the result was known. I declined.
The Clinic ask you to phone in for the result in about a week. I didn’t want to do that. If it was bad news I wanted to be in front of a Doctor and get it sorted quickly. The Clinic is just a mile from my home so I drove there. I hadn’t got an appointment but in any case the Receptionist gives you an envelope once you have give your password. She pulled the envelope out of a pigeon hole and I could see a note attached to it.
Looking up from the note she said: “The Doctor want’s to see you. Can you wait”?
It was almost an hour before I was called to see the Doctor. By then of course, I was convinced that it was the worst possible news. She said: “The test has come back negative.”
I should have been elated. But I wasn’t. There had to be something else. She went on to tell me that it could take up to three to six months before HIV antibodies show up. (Oh f***ing great!) She said “I want to see you in three months, and if that is negative then again three months after that.”
On my return three months later she told me it was negative. She asked about how I felt in general. “Do you have any Flu or Cold like symptoms?” I told her that I didn’t, I felt fine. (Silly Tart. If I get a a cold or something during the next three months, I’m going to worry.)
“Hmm. You may be OK,” she said.
I was. The last test was clear. Later I had another test in Pattaya. Everything OK.
Before I left Pattaya both the Doctor and I told her that she was not to go with any men. None! Not even with a Condom. In the heat of the moment Condoms come off or break. Farang who are into arse shagging are particularly at risk. I wasn’t. I was lucky. I knew she wouldn’t take any notice of that. Especially if some Farang waved three thousand baht under her nose. After all she has to live.
I still didn’t know what to do. I still couldn’t walk away. Should I tell the Bar Owner in the Hope that he would keep her on as “Service Only.” It was a risk telling him. If he kept her on as “Service only” he would be able to keep an eye on her. But the odds were that he would get rid of her bloody quick.
Later I discussed it with Roy. I had no one else that I could confide in. We kicked it around for a long time and even then we couldn’t come up with a solution. If the Bar owner sacked her she would appear in another Bar somewhere. Then another and another. Maybe even go to a different resort.
The Beer Bar on Soi 8 (No longer there... demolished) was one of Roy’s favourite Bars. Roy is virtually resident in Pattaya, so he could keep an eye on her without her suspecting that he was doing so. He was already a regular customer.
So I offered Ooy a deal.
1/ I would pay all her medical expenses, even if she had a cold or broke a leg. She could go to the Bangkok Pattaya Hospital for treatment, and they would charge my credit card along with the AIDS treatment.
2/ She would work Service only. I knew her Boss and his Wife would have no objection to that. She worked hard behind the Bar and got on with Customers very well.
3/ I would pay her room rent each month. (I paid it quarterly) Which means that all the money she earned was hers, with no expenses. She would always have a roof over her head and never go hungry.
I would just mention at this point that Ooy was a mature Girl. (39) But she was very attractive. She had two kids, a Girl and a Boy. The Girl had married a Japanese Guy and the Boy (20) worked on the family Farm. There were no real pressures on her to support the Family.
Ooy agreed. She had no alternative. It must have been terrifying for her to know that her life depends on an unpredictable Farang. (That’s how they see us.)
It worked well. She stuck to the strict drugs regime, attended the monthly appointment at the Hospital on time, and as far as I could tell she kept to her diet. I had a problem trying to get her eat three or for bananas every day (She considers bananas to be Monkey food) but she needed the calories to put weight back on, and needed the potassium.
During the next couple of years or so I was going back to the LOS three or four times a year. The last time I saw her she weighed 49 kilo. She was almost chubby.
I always went to see Dr Prasit who kept me updated on her progress. He was incredibly pleased with her. On one occasion he told me that her ‘T’ cell count was almost that of a normal person.
We made frequent trips to see her family in Nong Song Hong, and had some fabulous Parties. (Those Thai Guys can’t hold their drink. HA!) I loved the kids best of all, they were fun. I wrote several trip reports about my visits to Isan.
I couldn’t have sex with Ooy. Not only because it was risky, but I would not have been able to get turned on with someone who had AIDS. This caused frequent arguments and tears. But she and I just had to live with it.....
.....On other trips I got into Pattaya a week before I went to see Ooy. Just to be safe I would take a Girl to one of the Islands. Koh Samui is my favourite. For a while everything was great.
Then on one of my visits to the Hospital, I asked Dr Prasit if she had told him if she knew how she had contracted the disease. Apparently, she worked in Bangkok, as a singer in a Band, before she came to Pattaya. She was having an affair with one of the Band members. She had been having this affair when she discovered that he had the Virus. When she confronted him about it, she was sacked.
I tried not to show my dismay. But I think he knew he’d done wrong by telling me. What he was saying was that Ooy KNEW that there was a strong possibility that she was HIV Positive when she was going with me. I felt betrayed. I hardly need mention that I was angry. She didn’t care about me back then. She didn’t give a shit if I got AIDS or not.
This came at a time when Roy had told me that she had been missing from the Bar on a few Occasions. I really didn’t want a confrontation with her at that time. I was going home in a couple of days and I needed time to think.
I was a coward. I pushed the problem to the back of my mind, refusing to deal with it. I’d been home a couple of weeks when I got an Email from another mate. Ooy had been missing from the Bar for two or three days. I had to face the truth. But I needed to find out for myself.
I called her at three in the morning, Thai time, knowing that she would be back in her room by then. Or...
She never turned her phone off. Not after I had a real ding dong with her for doing so on a couple of previous occasions. So, it didn’t surprise me when it rang. What did surprise me was when she answered with “ello?” Tentatively. She never said that. It was always “hello teerak.” And from there, she would gable off ‘ten to the dozen’. This time she was hesitant. What also surprised me was that there was an echo behind her voice. Like she was standing in an oil drum, but which I knew was a Hotel Bathroom.
“Where you?” I said.
“Loom me,” she replied.
“You Lie!” “You Lie!”
Then I heard a mans voice. German or Scandinavian: “Who that?” the voice asked.
Ten seconds passed when she said: “me outside now.”
“You Hotel Bathroom with Man Farang,” I said angrily, my voice moving up a notch or two.
“No, me toilets, at Bar.” I heard the Farang voice again.
“You Lie.” I cut the connection. That was the last time I was ever going to speak to her.
I was at work when I called her, delivering the Chinky grub. For the next couple of hours I can hardly remember doing the deliveries. I was as angry as I could get. I hated her as much as I had hated anyone for the next couple of hours. Not because she broke our agreement but because I knew I would withdraw my support and she would eventually die. And it was me that was responsible for her eventual death.
I was a coward. Even then I didn’t cut off her medical funds. I couldn’t send the Email to the Chief Cashier at the Hospital, cutting off her lifeline. I had about twenty days before the next payment was due to be taken off my Credit Card. I prevaricated.
I needed someone to talk to. But I had no one. I needed another ‘Monger.’ I was due to go to Dinner on the following Monday with Dave (Mirkwood) and Add, his Thai wife. I made up my mind to tell them about Ooy and the AIDS thing. And the recent events.
Dave was surprised. Not so much at the AIDS thing, but at the fact that she would throw it all away. Add treated it all off handedly. As far as she was concerned it was normal. Basically saying that the money comes first. Both dave and I said nothing when she said this. We went across to the Pub for a beer. I couldn’t cope with the difference in Cultures. Dave said nothing. But I think he was surprised at his Wife’s reaction. It was a couple of weeks later when I stopped the funds.
During the next couple of years I had many E-mails and Phone calls. I answered neither. Except that she caught me out on my Birthday last year. I’d been having calls from the Kids and my Grandchildren wishing me a happy Birthday. So when the phone rang yet again, I picked it up without looking to see who was calling. It was her. She sang me ‘happy birthday’ all the way through, in between sobs.
It was so hard to put the phone down. I wanted to grab her and put my arms round her and say sorry. I wanted to get the next flight there. But I had to remind myself that she put my life in danger by having unprotected sex with me, knowing she had AIDS. She didn’t care about me.
I’ve been away from home for a week or so recently, so I was out of the loop for a while. There was an Email from Roy (laffnlive) and in replying I had to tell him that I couldn’t come to Pattaya in March.
His next Email was pretty bad, but not unexpected. This is it word for word.
OK, so now will tell you about Ooy. Didn't want to tell you until I
was with you. Ooy has passed away. We were told on Jan. 20 that it
happened two days before. But you know about Thais and Thai time, not that
it makes any difference. Her problem was known but not talked about. Nee
knew but didn't want to tell me, and I knew but didn't want to tell her.
Nee was VERY worried about you, but I explained that you had been checked at
least three times and you are OK for sure. Sorry to tell you by e-mail as
it seems so impersonal to do so. That's why I wanted to wait until you were
here so I could tell you in person. Please don't agonise, Barrie. I know
you. None of this was in any way your doing. Ooy was her own worst enemy.
It's all very sad, but also very true. You did wonderful things for her,
but she had no respect for you or for anyone else as proven by her behaviour.
I just hope she didn't infect anyone by her irresponsible behaviour.
I said before that I didn’t know if I loved Ooy or not. I think I did.
This affair was a delimma that I didn’t know how to solve. I thought for a couple of years that I had cracked it. I was wrong.
printed here with permission of the author
"I was with ( a friend I will call )Pacman, having a beer one summer’s evening, about a year after I first met Ooy. We’d returned home from Pattaya a few weeks previously. While we were on that trip Ooy had developed a persistent cough. I took her to Boots, the Pharmacy, in ‘Big C’ for some medication, but it didn’t seem to help much. After we returned I spoke to her on the phone a couple of times a week, and each time we talked the cough seemed to be getting worse. She was also losing weight. She down to 39 kilo.
Sitting there by the Sea, on the Coast of Kent on this summer’s evening, with a mate and a beer or two, what could be better. But Ooy kept slipping into my mind, and how ill she seemed to be getting. She had all the symptoms of Tuberculosis, which is rife in Thailand, caused by drinking infected unpasturised milk. I voiced my fears to Pacman.
We discussed it for a while when he said “why don’t we go back there next week.” We’d only been back home around five or six weeks, and so returning now would wipe out my cash reserves. But I couldn’t see any alternative. Tuberculosis is curable these days, but left untreated for too long it is certain death. We arrived in Pattaya six days later.
I hadn’t told Ooy that I was returning so she freaked when she saw me walking down Soi 8 towards her Bar. It was great to be back and it was about now that I started having thoughts of taking her back to the UK. Returning to Pattaya then was a good idea. I’d not been sleeping well for worrying about her and wondering what to do. It was such a relief being there and knowing that the next day we would be in one of the Hospitals and getting her sorted. I slept well that night.
Roy (laffnlive) had recommended a Doctor near the Bangkok Bank, on Second Road. Dr Belen. On a previous trip Roy had been very ill indeed. She put him on a drip and sat with him in his Hotel room all night. She spoke to Ooy for five minutes or so, when she turned to me and said, “I would like to send her to the Bangkok Pattaya Hospital for a full examination.” I readily agreed. She made a phone call to the Hospital and ten minutes later we were at the reception desk.
They were expecting us, and after taking a few details from Ooy, we were shown into Dr Prasit’s office. He’d obviously got information from Dr Belen when she spoke to him, and I voiced my fears about TB. He sent Ooy for an XRay and blood tests and told us to come back in an hour.
I was elated as we sat in a restaurant on the Sukhumvit Road, having lunch to pass the hour away. Ooy was going to get treated and in a few weeks she would be OK. I was thinking of what I had to do about getting together all the info needed for a Visa. I’d not said anything to Ooy about taking her back to the UK. But when I returned in a few months she would be healthy and I would have all the paperwork needed for the Visa. I would ask her then, but I couldn’t imagine her not wanting to go.
The hour flew by as I was absorbed in my thoughts about being at home with my Teerak. We were shown into Dr Prasit’s office, where he was in the process of putting an XRay up on an illuminated box. He turned to me and pointing to the XRay he said:
“She doesn’t have TB but she is HIV Positive. I think it’s worse than that. I think she may have AIDS.” He paused for a second or two, as my brian buzzed and went numb.
He continued: “I can’t be sure how far it has progressed unless we send a blood sample to Bangkok for a ‘T’ cell count.”
He looked directly at me and I could tell he was wondering how I would react. “Do you want to do that?” he asked. I nodded.
“I’ll give her some antibiotics for the chest infection now, then if you come back in three days I’ll know what we need to do for the future.” I nodded. My mouth was dry and I was developing a headache.
He turned to Ooy and presumably told her the same. I watched her closely not knowing what to expect. Her face was impassive, set in stone... When he finished she said something to him briefly.
He turned to me: “Will you pay for her treatment?” he said. I asked how much it would cost.
“About seven or eight thousand baht a month.” I said OK, not giving it much thought at the time.
We rode back to the Hotel in the Baht Taxi in silence. Holding each other tight. When we got into the room she sat on the edge of the bed. I sat beside her, putting my arm round her shoulders.
“When me die teerak?” she said. Tears streaming down her face.
My first thought was “Bastards. Don’t these people have any humanities?” He should have sent her to a Councillor who could have explained that it was not a death sentence. With the right treatment she could live a long and near normal life. I did my best to explain this to her and she eventually fell asleep.
I laid down on the bed beside her considering the implications. I don’t know if I can say that I was in love with Ooy. But I was certainly very fond of her. She was attractive and was easy to be with. I felt a bond between us. Could I walk away and let her die? Right then I couldn’t. Seven or eight thousand Baht a month was easily affordable. It would have virtually no effect on my life at all. But... I would be paying for the rest of my life.
When we returned to the Hospital three days later, Dr Prasit confirmed the diagnosis. Her ‘T’ cell count was so low that she could die within a few months. Her body had very little immunity from infections. He explained to me, and then to Ooy, the strict drug regime. She had to take six or seven pills every twelve hours. Without fail. No alcohol of course.
The Holiday was a mess. We’d hardly left the room for the last three days. Ooy spent most of her time sleeping and it was difficult to get her to eat anything. When Dr Prasit gave her a diet sheet and explained that if she were to stick to the diet and drug regime, there is no reason why she wouldn’t have along life, she brightened up a little.
As we were leaving the office Dr Prasit said to me: “Do you want an HIV test?”
Oh Shit! Until he said that I hadn’t even thought about it. “No, I said.” There was no point in having a test now. If I were infected there was nothing I could do about it. I’d wait until I got home. I wasn’t optimistic. I’d been with Ooy since my very first trip to Thailand, one year and three trips ago. I’d had at least 80 unprotected shags.
I was in turmoil. Not least because there was the possibility that I was infected. But what to do about Ooy? There was no way I was going to send her back to the Village with a monthly allowance. That would cost another 20,000 Baht a month... for the rest of my life. There was no way I could bring her back to the UK now, they wouldn’t let her in. I definitely wasn’t going to Thailand to live. Not for many years anyway. If I sent her back to the Village the nearest City where she could get treatment was 80 miles away. So that was another complication.
Not for the first time I wondered if I was doing the best thing in paying for her treatment. But I still couldn’t bring myself to walk away and let her die.
The only alternative was to leave her working in Pattaya. She had to work to survive. Even back then as a Newbie, I knew that she would go with Farang while I was away. Before she was diagnosed I didn’t care if she did. But now?....
When I got home I went to the clinic for a test. I explained why, and all the circumstances. The Female Doctor seemed concerned. She was obviously thinking the same as me. She offered me Councelling, even before the result was known. I declined.
The Clinic ask you to phone in for the result in about a week. I didn’t want to do that. If it was bad news I wanted to be in front of a Doctor and get it sorted quickly. The Clinic is just a mile from my home so I drove there. I hadn’t got an appointment but in any case the Receptionist gives you an envelope once you have give your password. She pulled the envelope out of a pigeon hole and I could see a note attached to it.
Looking up from the note she said: “The Doctor want’s to see you. Can you wait”?
It was almost an hour before I was called to see the Doctor. By then of course, I was convinced that it was the worst possible news. She said: “The test has come back negative.”
I should have been elated. But I wasn’t. There had to be something else. She went on to tell me that it could take up to three to six months before HIV antibodies show up. (Oh f***ing great!) She said “I want to see you in three months, and if that is negative then again three months after that.”
On my return three months later she told me it was negative. She asked about how I felt in general. “Do you have any Flu or Cold like symptoms?” I told her that I didn’t, I felt fine. (Silly Tart. If I get a a cold or something during the next three months, I’m going to worry.)
“Hmm. You may be OK,” she said.
I was. The last test was clear. Later I had another test in Pattaya. Everything OK.
Before I left Pattaya both the Doctor and I told her that she was not to go with any men. None! Not even with a Condom. In the heat of the moment Condoms come off or break. Farang who are into arse shagging are particularly at risk. I wasn’t. I was lucky. I knew she wouldn’t take any notice of that. Especially if some Farang waved three thousand baht under her nose. After all she has to live.
I still didn’t know what to do. I still couldn’t walk away. Should I tell the Bar Owner in the Hope that he would keep her on as “Service Only.” It was a risk telling him. If he kept her on as “Service only” he would be able to keep an eye on her. But the odds were that he would get rid of her bloody quick.
Later I discussed it with Roy. I had no one else that I could confide in. We kicked it around for a long time and even then we couldn’t come up with a solution. If the Bar owner sacked her she would appear in another Bar somewhere. Then another and another. Maybe even go to a different resort.
The Beer Bar on Soi 8 (No longer there... demolished) was one of Roy’s favourite Bars. Roy is virtually resident in Pattaya, so he could keep an eye on her without her suspecting that he was doing so. He was already a regular customer.
So I offered Ooy a deal.
1/ I would pay all her medical expenses, even if she had a cold or broke a leg. She could go to the Bangkok Pattaya Hospital for treatment, and they would charge my credit card along with the AIDS treatment.
2/ She would work Service only. I knew her Boss and his Wife would have no objection to that. She worked hard behind the Bar and got on with Customers very well.
3/ I would pay her room rent each month. (I paid it quarterly) Which means that all the money she earned was hers, with no expenses. She would always have a roof over her head and never go hungry.
I would just mention at this point that Ooy was a mature Girl. (39) But she was very attractive. She had two kids, a Girl and a Boy. The Girl had married a Japanese Guy and the Boy (20) worked on the family Farm. There were no real pressures on her to support the Family.
Ooy agreed. She had no alternative. It must have been terrifying for her to know that her life depends on an unpredictable Farang. (That’s how they see us.)
It worked well. She stuck to the strict drugs regime, attended the monthly appointment at the Hospital on time, and as far as I could tell she kept to her diet. I had a problem trying to get her eat three or for bananas every day (She considers bananas to be Monkey food) but she needed the calories to put weight back on, and needed the potassium.
During the next couple of years or so I was going back to the LOS three or four times a year. The last time I saw her she weighed 49 kilo. She was almost chubby.
I always went to see Dr Prasit who kept me updated on her progress. He was incredibly pleased with her. On one occasion he told me that her ‘T’ cell count was almost that of a normal person.
We made frequent trips to see her family in Nong Song Hong, and had some fabulous Parties. (Those Thai Guys can’t hold their drink. HA!) I loved the kids best of all, they were fun. I wrote several trip reports about my visits to Isan.
I couldn’t have sex with Ooy. Not only because it was risky, but I would not have been able to get turned on with someone who had AIDS. This caused frequent arguments and tears. But she and I just had to live with it.....
.....On other trips I got into Pattaya a week before I went to see Ooy. Just to be safe I would take a Girl to one of the Islands. Koh Samui is my favourite. For a while everything was great.
Then on one of my visits to the Hospital, I asked Dr Prasit if she had told him if she knew how she had contracted the disease. Apparently, she worked in Bangkok, as a singer in a Band, before she came to Pattaya. She was having an affair with one of the Band members. She had been having this affair when she discovered that he had the Virus. When she confronted him about it, she was sacked.
I tried not to show my dismay. But I think he knew he’d done wrong by telling me. What he was saying was that Ooy KNEW that there was a strong possibility that she was HIV Positive when she was going with me. I felt betrayed. I hardly need mention that I was angry. She didn’t care about me back then. She didn’t give a shit if I got AIDS or not.
This came at a time when Roy had told me that she had been missing from the Bar on a few Occasions. I really didn’t want a confrontation with her at that time. I was going home in a couple of days and I needed time to think.
I was a coward. I pushed the problem to the back of my mind, refusing to deal with it. I’d been home a couple of weeks when I got an Email from another mate. Ooy had been missing from the Bar for two or three days. I had to face the truth. But I needed to find out for myself.
I called her at three in the morning, Thai time, knowing that she would be back in her room by then. Or...
She never turned her phone off. Not after I had a real ding dong with her for doing so on a couple of previous occasions. So, it didn’t surprise me when it rang. What did surprise me was when she answered with “ello?” Tentatively. She never said that. It was always “hello teerak.” And from there, she would gable off ‘ten to the dozen’. This time she was hesitant. What also surprised me was that there was an echo behind her voice. Like she was standing in an oil drum, but which I knew was a Hotel Bathroom.
“Where you?” I said.
“Loom me,” she replied.
“You Lie!” “You Lie!”
Then I heard a mans voice. German or Scandinavian: “Who that?” the voice asked.
Ten seconds passed when she said: “me outside now.”
“You Hotel Bathroom with Man Farang,” I said angrily, my voice moving up a notch or two.
“No, me toilets, at Bar.” I heard the Farang voice again.
“You Lie.” I cut the connection. That was the last time I was ever going to speak to her.
I was at work when I called her, delivering the Chinky grub. For the next couple of hours I can hardly remember doing the deliveries. I was as angry as I could get. I hated her as much as I had hated anyone for the next couple of hours. Not because she broke our agreement but because I knew I would withdraw my support and she would eventually die. And it was me that was responsible for her eventual death.
I was a coward. Even then I didn’t cut off her medical funds. I couldn’t send the Email to the Chief Cashier at the Hospital, cutting off her lifeline. I had about twenty days before the next payment was due to be taken off my Credit Card. I prevaricated.
I needed someone to talk to. But I had no one. I needed another ‘Monger.’ I was due to go to Dinner on the following Monday with Dave (Mirkwood) and Add, his Thai wife. I made up my mind to tell them about Ooy and the AIDS thing. And the recent events.
Dave was surprised. Not so much at the AIDS thing, but at the fact that she would throw it all away. Add treated it all off handedly. As far as she was concerned it was normal. Basically saying that the money comes first. Both dave and I said nothing when she said this. We went across to the Pub for a beer. I couldn’t cope with the difference in Cultures. Dave said nothing. But I think he was surprised at his Wife’s reaction. It was a couple of weeks later when I stopped the funds.
During the next couple of years I had many E-mails and Phone calls. I answered neither. Except that she caught me out on my Birthday last year. I’d been having calls from the Kids and my Grandchildren wishing me a happy Birthday. So when the phone rang yet again, I picked it up without looking to see who was calling. It was her. She sang me ‘happy birthday’ all the way through, in between sobs.
It was so hard to put the phone down. I wanted to grab her and put my arms round her and say sorry. I wanted to get the next flight there. But I had to remind myself that she put my life in danger by having unprotected sex with me, knowing she had AIDS. She didn’t care about me.
I’ve been away from home for a week or so recently, so I was out of the loop for a while. There was an Email from Roy (laffnlive) and in replying I had to tell him that I couldn’t come to Pattaya in March.
His next Email was pretty bad, but not unexpected. This is it word for word.
OK, so now will tell you about Ooy. Didn't want to tell you until I
was with you. Ooy has passed away. We were told on Jan. 20 that it
happened two days before. But you know about Thais and Thai time, not that
it makes any difference. Her problem was known but not talked about. Nee
knew but didn't want to tell me, and I knew but didn't want to tell her.
Nee was VERY worried about you, but I explained that you had been checked at
least three times and you are OK for sure. Sorry to tell you by e-mail as
it seems so impersonal to do so. That's why I wanted to wait until you were
here so I could tell you in person. Please don't agonise, Barrie. I know
you. None of this was in any way your doing. Ooy was her own worst enemy.
It's all very sad, but also very true. You did wonderful things for her,
but she had no respect for you or for anyone else as proven by her behaviour.
I just hope she didn't infect anyone by her irresponsible behaviour.
I said before that I didn’t know if I loved Ooy or not. I think I did.
This affair was a delimma that I didn’t know how to solve. I thought for a couple of years that I had cracked it. I was wrong.
The scheduled trip for Tik's Birthday started by gathering Tik's family and customers for the short trip to the Pattaya Orphanage. We hired a baht bus and off we went loaded with many items for the donation
After we arrived at the Pattaya Orphanage the staff assembled our donation for a photo op. Tik with her family and Ragna and her husband Sture from Sweden along with some of the items donated
Tik latched onto this child and I was not sure if she would ever let her go
Some of the other cute children from the Pattaya orphange. Before entering the play room and to keep the children safe the nurse took our temperature to make sure we were not sick
Childrens Play room where you can enjoy time with the children. Once thing I noticed was that no matter how much you played with them they remained very quiet. Even when you tickled them.